The stereotype of being a difficult mother-in-law has been persisted in many cultures of over hundreds of years and also over different countries in the world. Almost most of the mother in law might believe that the child’s spouse is not good enough or even is not a competent parent. However, under tentative situations, the Drama between wife, mother-in-law might just be one of the worst things a family can ever experience. However, this article will show you how to deal with a difficult mother in Law. If you feel that you have a toxic Mother-in-law, here are 10 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-In-Law!
10 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-In-Law
1. Always Right
Most of the mother in laws believes that they are always right and without any reason at all. This means that she is never wrong at all. Infact, if she has even been wrong, she will never admit it at all.
2. She is Dismissive
Your MIL might ignore you for most of the part which might convey that you do not matter to her at all. She might even intentionally not find interest to hear a word that you say. Also, she might disregard that you have any accomplishments.
You might find different ways of communication from her end. She will not say anything to your face but you might hear her message which is loud and clear to make you understand loud and clear.
One of the major things which most mother in laws keep in mind. To establish her dominance on everything, she might prove that she was right about you. The main reason for doing such is that she might expect you to please her all the time.
5. Her attitude:
One of the worst things that she might do is to make you bend to her will. She will start a smear campaign in her community and might force even your father in law to support her and not you. However, the whole pledge of her might move around your husband.
6. No Respect:
One of the most dangerous activities that you might do is that not to respect you at all. She will not respect to your words at all. She will come to your house uninvited and will expect you to welcome her every time.
Her mentality will always be strong and she might pretend that she is the ruler who dictates what needs to be done and what not to do. She might think that she will rule by withholding her affection and her approval.
8. She loves the audience:
She might love other people more than you and if you ask for anything new to be done such as dresses or even going out, the first thing that might come to her mind is about other people. Almost she loves the audience more than you!
Like any narcist, she might pretend that everything that you do is not good at all and is practically useless. She will give up her everything in order t destroy your marriage or to control their son’s lives from your hands as if you just want money and nothing else.
10. Pretending Good Days
One of the best facts that you might want to do is to find some good days and out from these good days, you will find that your mother in law is willing to make a u-turn and then lash on to you.
Mother in law and wife problems are very common and probably one of the most dramatic scenes that you get to see. Well, by this time, you must have It’s common and here is why do mother in laws cause problems to so many wives. Well, the mother-in-law problems are worse for women and they might just be tired to hear all these day and night. If your mother in law has argues with you, it never means that you do not have to leave your home. Infact, treat it as a common issue like most of the women do. Problems with mother in law might be drastic but it also can be solved if you are willing to. Read here to know more about how to Handle Your Mother-in-Law.
How to Deal With a Difficult Mother in Law
Here are a few tips and suggestions which will help you to know how to Handle Your Mother-in-Law.
Creating a United Front with Your Spouse
When you wish to solve this problem entirely and then continue with a new life, the first thing that you need to do is to establish a relation with your spouse. It is indeed lucky to have a complimenting mother in law and to get rid of such a nuisance, the first thing that you need to do is to have a word with your spouse. After marriage, probably your souse will be the person closes to you and it would be your responsibility to make him understand your values and your thoughts. You also need to understand from where your MIL is coming. If she is not a city girl, her mindset will never be so advanced. Thus, you always need to make it to your mind whether you need to solve this problem or not. To establish a relation with your Mother in law will require patience and also confidence.
Establishing Boundaries with Your Mother-in-Law
If you are never comfortable with your mother in law, the first thing which should always come up to your mind is that to establish a boundary with her. If you want to be separated from her, then it is the high time to assert yourself. If avoiding is the first idea that comes in your mind, then try to reduce the amount of time you used to spend with her. You also need to compensate by accepting the disapproval of the fact that she likes or even needs you. The best thing that you can do is to share boundaries with her and never get yourself into indulging her. You must keep it in mind to keep yourself happy after all because you would be the person staying in a relationship with your husband.
Creating Distance from Your Mother-in-Law
Creating a distance with your mother in law is never easy and you need to focus on spending more time with yourself rather than with her if you have some hobbies, then try to be positive about spending some quality time. Probably moving away might now be a good option with your spouse. It is also natural that your spouse might not wish to leave his mother so easily and it might just be your responsibility in order to do so. So, what you need to do is make him believe that your needs are also there in a relationship and probably moving away might just help to bring back the bonding you need to get with your husband.
Kids can Change the ambience
Mother in Laws might also believe that hating you and making you feel awkward might make her feel happy but there is one just one thing that might run to the sentiments. Having a child might just be the most wonderful moment that mothers love to have and even mother in laws. Kids can change the sentiments of angry mother in laws and make them care for you. Such an incident has just happened with my friend a few months ago. She used to call me every night and cried out claiming that her mother in law never supports her. My elder cousin also had the same family issues till she gave birth to her first child and things changed a lot. I suggested the same for my friend as well and a miracle happened from next on. Definitely this is a very sentimental issue when every MIL gets emotional.
Problems inside a family and emotional issues are always common between a wife and a mother in law. Sometimes, it might just become very emotional and tough for a wife to stay with a mother in law. However, it never means that you need to move out from the house just as fast as you can after a fight. Sometimes, things can be solved with patience and tips. Follow them to get the most effective results.