As you may realize, Valentine’s Day is closer than you think! And everyone wants a date for this romantic holiday. But finding a date when you’re single isn’t as easy as it sounds. Women today are more independent and perhaps not as willing to rely on a man. So, how do you go about getting a girl to notice you? Check out these awesome ways to use psychology to get a woman to notice you.


1) Use Your Confidence

Women subconsciously want a confident man; they tend to avoid a needy one. If your self-esteem is low, that’s going to come across in your interactions with women, and believe me, they will pick up on it.

Spend time on things that make you feel good about yourself. If you like to work out, go to the gym regularly or go for a run in the park (and running can boost your self-esteem by releasing endorphins into the brain).

Added to that, make sure you look your best. Most women don’t go for the just-got-out-of-bed-without-coffee look, so dress well and take care of your usual grooming habits like shaving and styling your hair.

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2) Avoid Being Overbearing

Every woman loves attention, but there comes a time when too much attention is just annoying. Being too obvious toward a woman can make you seem needy and pretentious. It’s okay to flirt with the woman you want to notice you, but don’t treat her any differently than you do any other woman… at least, not at first.

Lightly flirt with the woman you’re trying to attract. Mention how good she looks today and make her feel good about herself. If you’re subtle, she’ll notice; if you’re too overpowering, she’ll notice, but not in a good way.

3) Use Mystery to Your Advantage

There’s a reason why romance novels are filled with dark, mysterious male characters. Don’t reveal too much about yourself too quickly; save back something special to “accidentally” reveal later in the relationship.

Just remember, subtlety is better. If you’re too open with your flirtations, you’ll come across as arrogant, as if you’re just so good, no woman can resist you. And that’s a definite turn-off!

4) Speak Little, Listen Much

Women can speak up to 13,000 more words per day than men. This adds up to a lot of listening! But if all you’re doing is hearing, in other words, injecting the occasional “Uh-huh” into her conversation, you’re not practicing active listening.

Instead, use active listening skills, even if it’s just to repeat something she said. For example, in response to her talking about the dolphins she just saw at the aquarium, you could say, “Really, dolphins? That’s cool.” Even though you just repeated something she said, active listening will let her know you truly understand what she says.

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5) Take Her on a Charged First Date

Memories are encoded in our brains every moment of the day. But memories that are accompanied by strong emotions have stronger encoding and are more likely to be recalled later. Take her on a thrilling date, perhaps to a theme park with roller coasters, a scary movie, or a fireworks show.

6) Show Off Your Skills

Women love men who have skills. Whether it’s sports, playing a musical instrument, writing poetry, or karaoke, show off your skills. Invite her to a game or a cozy, intimate setting where you play the guitar. If you write, slip her little notes with bits of poetry or take her on a date to an open mic night where you can recite your work.

7) Watch the Way You Touch Her

Women love to be touched, but if it’s early in your relationship, be cautious of where you touch her. It might come across as creepy if you go right for the thigh, but you can lightly caress her back when you’re walking with her. Give her just enough to start her arousal, but not enough to yell pervert.

You might think looking for a date for Valentine’s Day is an impossible feat. Today’s women might intimidate you, especially if you don’t have the looks of a famous model. Use these psychological tips to give you a foothold, boost your self-esteem, and use active listening skills when engaging the woman you’d like to ask out. Flirt but be subtle; you don’t want to come across as needy or pretentious.